


Beauty

by Ross2003



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Pining Miya Atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27239548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ross2003/pseuds/Ross2003
Summary: He had created a false sense of reality. It was all in his head. He had always known. It was always an afterthought stowed away in the back of his head buried deep and hidden.It was a fact he didn’t want to accept then, now, or ever really but he couldn’t avoid it any longer.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 32





	Beauty

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't put the names in much but y’all get the gist right.
> 
> Also didn’t proof read if ya can’t tell.
> 
> Context :  
> There really isn’t none just imagine the two being childhood friends and eventually growing apart. They’re fully recognize they’re in love with the other by the time they’re around 13 so pretty young. They’re just obviously really bad with feelings. One is pushing the other away while the other is just helplessly in love and trying not the make it obvious.
> 
> And that basically all the back story I have. 
> 
> Have fun lol.

“I have chased after you my entire life.” he strained.

“I didn’t ask for you to do that! You did that to yourself!” 

Atsumu did nothing but stare at him. He was right. Damn it he was right. As much as he hated to admit it. As much as he tried to avoid it and god knows he tried he did. 

Who had he been to expect anything from someone like Kiyoomi Sakusa?

“When have I ever told you to chase after me?” 

Sakusa had never been subtle, not once, he always spoke his mind and never did anything he didn’t want to. He didn’t sugar coat things he was straightforward and never cowardly back. Never felt the need to choose his words carefully in the case that he might hurt whoever he was talking to.

He had created a false sense of reality. It was all in his head. He had always known. It was always an afterthought stowed away in the back of his head buried deep and hidden. 

It was a fact he didn’t want to accept then, now, or ever really but he couldn’t avoid it any longer. 

Not after Kiyoomi himself rubbed it right in his face and laughed at him.

He couldn’t believe he had dragged this lie out for so long. 

He forced out a laugh. That’s all he could do at that very moment. Try to keep his composure and laugh the pain off. Pretend he was alright and put on a facade. It was just then that he was coming face to face with the one thing he never wanted to; the fact that the one he has been yearning for all his life will never love him back. 

And oh god did that realization hurt like hell. 

Did Omi even have the ability to fall in love with some asshole like him?

“...ah...haha right, I don’t know why I disillusioned myself like this. I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble Sakusa-San.” His voice cracked slightly. 

I’m sorry me loving you has caused you so much trouble. I never meant to hold you back.

He held his tears back, his emotions were beginning to unravel so quickly, too quickly. He was tempted to simply fall to his knees and break apart in front of Kiyoomi just to let him see how much this all had affected him. The toll his mental and physical state was taking. 

“I guess I’ll be on my way now. I’ll make sure to stop bothering you. Promise. I’ll keep my distance.” 

His heart was pounding so hard against his chest. His throat throbbing from the cries he kept swallowing down. He couldn’t take it. He wished he could just disappear at that moment. To have never met Kiyoomi and avoid having his heart shredded to pieces by such a trivial thing called love. It was so stupid.

How did they get here in the first place? 

He didn’t wait for a response nor did he expect one. He knew Kiyoomi wouldn’t respond. Bastard he was sometimes. 

But there’s not much he could do anyways. He pulled his hood over his head and kept his head down. Hands shoved into his pockets biting his lip as he walked away quickly after exiting the apartment. Tears slipped involuntarily on his way home.

He should call ‘Samu, he needs to call ‘Samu. 

He doesn’t. 

He holds back as much as he can until he reaches the top of his apartment complex, on usual days he comes to sit up here to watch the stars stretch out for mikes on ends. Tonight is different, his eyes are blurry as he looks at the blurry lights illuminating the city. He wants to go home. Pretend none of these events had just happened and pretend Sakusa Kiyoomi had just been a figment of his imagination. Something he had simply dreamt up of and it would all be over as soon as he was woken up by his twin. 

More tears stream down his face. Everything that had just happened replays and repeats and repeats and it never stops. He was in so much pain but at least he finally felt like he could let some of his buried emotions out. So he screamed. At the top of his lungs, he screamed out at the city. 

He screams out of pain and anger. About everything and nothing. Screams until his lungs give out. He clutched one of his hands over his heart. He cried this time, finally slowing himself to feel pity for himself. They were the broken cries of a broken soul. God, he hated himself so much at that moment. Couldn’t believe where his pathetic self had gotten. 

He was lucky no one complained about his screams, but maybe they heard his hurting and decided to leave him be. Once he had mostly recollected himself he sat near the edge of the building so many thoughts running through his head. It was so tempting to want to just push off and fall freely, feel the adrenaline as he reached his end. But he didn’t exactly want death, not necessarily. Just a new start maybe then he’d get to walk a happier path. With less suffering. He knew he was being a little dramatic. After all, he only wanted to forget the one who caused him the most pain and happiness in life. 

These were just thoughts that crossed his mind for now. A new beginning sounded nice. He might have to try that soon. 

And of course, as he stared out into the city from the rooftop, as cliche as it would seem it began to rain.

As if the sky had heard his woos and decided to cry with him.

Ironically he found comfort in the coldness the rain brought him. A few miles away lightning flashed and he laid back closing his eyes. The rain mixed in with the few more tears he let slip. A sad smile tracing his lips. He didn’t care much for his drenched clothes. He crossed his arms over his face.

“Shit.” He laughed painfully. Feeling pity for himself. 

Oh, how comically beautiful life could be at times. I mean what was a little sadness without beauty.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a random one shot thing Ig, I was in the shower and it came to mind lol. Uh yeah.


End file.
